Next I want to talk a little more about reinforcement. Remember the story about the child in church above. Reinforcement is not the same for every adult and it is not the same for every child.
There are basically two different kinds of reinforcers. It's kind of complicated but basically when you get something you want or when you avoid something you don't want, both are called reinforcers, one positive and the other negative. Either type of reinforcer increases the chance that the person will do again, whatever it was that got them the desired result...Natural reinforcers are those that will be received in almost any setting from almost any person. Natural reinforcers are almost always better than contrived and should be used whenever possible. For example, in many (hopefully it is most) situations, politeness and good manners receive a natural reinforcer.
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18 comments:
I have noticed that the natural reinforcer works great, and it can be wonderful to see the difference it makes in the childs behavior.
my kids have learned early that saying please and thank you and bless you gets a nice responce. My two year old loves to say bless you mama when I sneaze because she loves me to say thank you baby girl with a big smile.
I love that!
Pete
Both Jennifer and Courtneyc made great comments. I totally agree with Jennifer. Natural reinforcers are awesome....and to see that little child beem inside because you noticed he was doing good and said the Thank Yous and what nots is awesome. At the center where I work we have ages 2 to 6. One day back in the 2 year old class room there were two little boys that usually are a little challenging just cuz they are so much boy (if that makes sense) this day one had a runny nose and the other little boy went and got a tissue. and instead of handing it to the teacher or the child he helped his friend blow his nose. he kept saying blow, blow in a whisper kind of voice. and after they through that away they both went to the sink and washed as the one with the runny nose was getting down from the stool he said thank you. you could tell he meant it and it just made me realize that by the teachers and parents showing by example the thank yous and helping out these little ones picked up on it and used it with out being asked to help.
Wonderful! Wonderful story!
Thank you,
Pete
When my children go out to visit their friends I always say to them when they are leaving "Be good and remember what your last name is -- it's the same as mine". They always smile back at me and have a positive comment! A great natural reinforcer! It helps them to remember who they are and reinforces our family belief system.
Positive reinforcement is fabulous. I think it works better than discipline. I know that my kids would much rather put a smile on my face than disappoint me. The bigger of a deal I make of the positive things they do, the more likely they keep that attitude.
Reinforcement is great. We use songs and children programs like Barney and have open dicussions about what they saw and learned. During meal time we have them give thanks for the meal and have different one lead in giving thanks. Thats one of the first things most parents notice when their child do the same thing at home. We have to always make a fuss over them when they do something well or good.
I know natural reinforcers work because I was taught to use my manners and always got positive feedback for using it. My mom always got compliments of how well she was raising me to be polite and respectful.
MAA
I agree with Katie Bowman said, Positive reinforcement works better with than discipline. Kids like to please their parents/adult they look up to, they do value and take our opinions very highly...most of the times. And the adults conduct and manners speaks volume to a child- goes with the sayings, our actions do speaks louder than words.
I try to politely remind the the children to say please and thank you . They love it when adults notice their politeness.
I strongly agree with everyone the natural reinforcer works awesome. Vilma was right that kids do want to please their parents or teachers, so when one kid notices the reaction they get from the elder when saying please or thank you I bet you they will say it. During snack time I will pass a snack out and a child will say thank you or no thank you and I say wow such great manners you have then it starts a chain reaction :)
Natural reinforcers are the best because they instill an intrinsic value of good behavior in the student. I do use a treasure chest in my room to help motivate the students but they have to work very hard to get something out of it. I find that they like certificates saying "thank you" or "great job" just as well as a tangible item from the treasure chest.
I love this it is great reminder that just leading by example and showing kids that making good choices get good responses is the way to go a lot less stressful than focusing on the negative for everyone.
Consequences are essential. Appropriate consequences can be tools that allow the child to think. When children think, rather than be told with no action, they are more apt to "think" twice about repeating unacceptable behavior.
Absolutely! Natural reinforcement works so well. Coming from adults, and other children. There have been several cases where a child will have an undesirable behavior that the other kids just don't approve of. I will let it play out a little before asking a child what's going on. They will tell me that they are being left out, or this person doesn't like me. I'll ask if they did the undesirable behavior(bossing, yelling, playing too rough, grabbing, etc) and tell them to try again without doing that. It almost always works out(unless they just can't control themselves!) that the other children are more accepting of that child when the undesirable behavior is stopped. I always say something positive to back it up.
Also, when it's clean up time and I see one child really working hard, I always compliment their hard work. The other kids immediately start working hard, too! Then I can say what amazing teamwork they are showing!
I also have a little boy that has been acting out. When he does ANYTHING good, I make a big deal out it and tell his mom in front of him. I was talking to her about the naughty things he did in a day. Then I realized that what he needed was positive reinforcement for the good behavior, so I started only telling his mom out loud about the good behavior. I talked to her about my idea and my plan quietly, and started only telling her quietly or through text if there was a negative behavior that needed discussing. It is working... he has even started telling her the good things he's done himself when she comes to get him. So, I know he is thinking about it.
I 100% agree with reinforcement. I think that we should focus more on the good things our kids do rather than the bad things, and soon they will see they get praised more and get more attention when they are behaving.
100% agree. this is my firm stance in behavior changing. ignore (this needs explaining) the problem behavior...love and adorn the positive choices. all the time. for everyone.
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