Consider also that an inappropriate behavior may be reinforced in another environment, if this is the case; you need to be crystal clear that it will not be reinforced in your environment, while helping the child to learn that there are more appropriate ways to get their needs met...One last point here, never forget the power of example.
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23 comments:
Yes, I think we are all guilty of this to some point, and sometimes I have been in shock about what kids even say that they may have learned at home or even at school, that may be something that they aren't even aware of.
Kids pick up on the weirdest things. They are very cleaver when it comes to listening. When we want them to listen, sometimes they dont and when we dont want them to listen...most of them do. They pick up on things fast! At the center I work at I say pickle juice a lot when I get frustrated or something isnt going just right...my tricky way of not using fowl language in front of the kids...the other day a child was building a tower that got knocked over and that is how he expressed his frustrastion...was by saying pickle juice...so it just goes to show that they pick up on the little things....
That is very true. I'm going to create a new post on the blog that relates to this. It is a vairly simple traick that can help when childrean are out of control.
Pete
Inappropriate behavior is tested by every child at one time or another. Guideance, love (teaching your child you love them no matter what), patients, consistency will help build the kind of character that will be a positive reflection on your family and your child's name. I always said to my children when they were going out to visit their friends "Remember what your last name is -- it's the same as mine".
Carolyn.....
Yep its true they pick up on everything from what you say to what you are doing. Watching you being nice to his friends would be an excellent way to show how to be nice and not aggressive.
I had a parent say how cute it was that their child was throwing food on the floor while eating. I couldn't believe it....I just told them that it may look cute I would not be allowing that. Why would anyone want to have to clean up after the child. She also made the comment she wasn't sure how much food he was actually eating. When he tried it with me, I just told him no, we don't do that he stopped. This way I knew exactly how much food he was eating.
When my children were little I never removed objects that they were not suppose to touch. I taught them not to touch them. If you are consistent it is not hard. let them know what is okay to touch and what is not. Believe me children are sometimes smarter then we give them credit for. If you remove ogjects in your home whose to say your family and friends are going to do the same when you go visiting. What about when you are in stores or other locations. There will always be sometihing children will be facsinate by, but everything is not touchable. One of the way I got my children to cooperate in the stores by not touching was by comprising. Don't touch anything now and later I will take you where you can touch items and maybe reward you for good behavior. After I was finish shopping I would always take them to the toy department or to the dollar where they could pick out a small inexpensive toy of some kind they were happy and so was I. And believe it or we didn't always have to buy a toy, sometimes they just looked at them and talked about what they wanted for x-mas or upcoming birthday.
I have noticed how much better behaved my day care kids are with me than with their own parents. I know that it flows a lot more smoothly when we are all on the same page and it works for us. Just like the person commented before me, dont removed things they arent suppose to touch, teach them not to. AND THEN CONTINUE TO FOLLOW THROUGH. I try to keep a calm cool tone of voice. This helps so much.
I agree with most of the comments made. Good is in every child. We must take the time to bring that good out of them. Patience is key. Showing love and compassion in showing a child they are wrong will go much further than raising your voice or showing anger toward them.
I like what Don M had to say. There is good in every child. Showing love and compassion with your child will take them further in life. I also like what shutterbug said about using pickle juice instead of swearing. I tend to say the "S" word a lot and when I get around my son it slips out and I hurry and change it to shitaki mushrooms.
We know when a child is doing a bad behavior they are communicating something but our first instinct is anger. I understand why we laugh at inappropriate things because it helps keep our cool in a social situation. Its a coping mechanism for us but its one that we should not even do.
MAA
At the school I work at there is a poster that says "Remember there's always a child watching what you do." It reminds me that I'm setting an example by my actions, responses and my words.
So true children learn from examples -especially to whom they look up to. But It is also important for our children to see when adult makes mistakes too, and adult need to take responsibility and apologizing for our behavior fosters accountability, trust and faith in our ability in helping them. Another added example for Children need to learn and to develop humility and compassion =emphatetic
I wonder do all schools follow the 6Rs to bulling?
Some schools are better at taking care of bulling than others. Some use one program, others another and some use none.
This is the first I have read about the 6rs of bullying. This is something we will defiantly try out.
We as adults need to set good example to the children. We work with young school aged children and they pick up on everything.
Yes, I strongly believe that those little eyes that are watching us are learning everything we do and how we react to situations. We as adults are our kids role models they want to do what we do, so it is very important to watch how and what we say infront of the child. I really like the 6r's to bullying. It would be really beneficial for all schools to learn this and pass on to students. How can schools look into that?
As a parent I try to limit my daughter's activities in order to keep her from being so stressed out. I want her to be a kid while she is still a kid. She will have the rest of her life to be stressed out about schedules and other aspects of life. In the classroom I need to be the one to limit the choices and to keep the environment stress free so the children can be children and not learn to hate school because of the pressure.
I like the bedtime routine ideas when she said repeat yourself like a parrot I am going to try that and try to stay as consistent. The parent is in control I need to remember that as odd as it sounds sometimes it feels as though I am running in their world with their rules.
It is so true that when I stay calm, my kids are more calm. When I am clear, they know what I expect and what they need to do. When I respect them, they respect me! I LOVE "The Golden Rule" and teach my kids that we always treat people with love and respect because it is how we want to be treated. I find the more I honor feelings and understand the needs of the individual child having "issues," the better off we all are! Less stress all the way around! Children are always learning! As am I!!! Treat others with love and respect and respect, have a good time and be a good friend! I hope my kids can take the lessons they learn here with them to high school!
I like that she says repeat yourself like a parrot, this is a great rule if you can stick with it. I also needed reminding that staying cool and calm is the key. If you stay calm and are persistent then eventually the child will learn that fighting and throwing fits will not work. I think if you act up and make a big deal of it the child will soon think that it is a game.
examples. ... so true. I can't recall how many times i have seen a parent chuckle at an adverse behavior. Even something simple as a fart. this doesn't mean we need to spank the child or make a big scene of the incident. but we don't need to bring any attention to it either.
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