Remember to catch children doing the right thing. Sincerely thank them, praise them and acknowledge them when they do the right thing and or things that you ask them to do.
Sometimes children do things you don’t want theme to do or are slow to do what you ask them to do. Sometimes children need to be corrected. Some people might call this confrontation or what I prefer to call carefrontation. Children, we all, need to know and have feedback when we need to correct course or make a change. Correction is always easier to take and almost always more effective when it comes from someone who we know likes us and appreciates us for positive things we do. When you do need to correct a child, or provide carefrontation, be sure to follow up, as soon as possible with sincere praise or appreciation. I like to call this a sandwich. Both sides of the correction or correction contain sincere praise and appreciation. You can even do this when there is a longer term grounding, i.e. no TV or phone for a period of time. All though the grounding, continue to acknowledge and openly appreciate the positive.
This does not mean that if a child is doing something that urgently needs correction (i.e. about to touch a hot stove) that you have to stick something positive in real quick. You don't, just make sure that they have been hearing the positive all along.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Talking to children or about children, there is a time for both.
Sutterbug Photography made a good point under reinforcement.
Children do pick up on things you don't expect them to. This is one of the many reasons why example is so important.
Most of the time, when you want to communicate something with a child, it is best to speak directly, simply, clearly, and gently directly to the child.
Sometimes though, children get upset and don't want to hear what you have to say. Sometimes they may start yelling or cover their ears. You might try speaking louder or even end up yelling and they just yell louder, blocking you out.
Try this instead some time. When you have a child who is acting in this way and you need to tell them something, such as setting a limit or letting them know what a consequence might be, turn to another adult or even another child and quietly talk to that other adult or child about the child who is yelling and/or covering their ears. Tell this other person what the consequence may be for this other child (by name) or what the child's options may be. Do this quietly but close enough that the child could hear if s/he stopped yelling or unstopped their ears. Sometimes when children don't want to hear what you are saying to them, they still want to know what you are saying about them, to someone else.
Children do pick up on things you don't expect them to. This is one of the many reasons why example is so important.
Most of the time, when you want to communicate something with a child, it is best to speak directly, simply, clearly, and gently directly to the child.
Sometimes though, children get upset and don't want to hear what you have to say. Sometimes they may start yelling or cover their ears. You might try speaking louder or even end up yelling and they just yell louder, blocking you out.
Try this instead some time. When you have a child who is acting in this way and you need to tell them something, such as setting a limit or letting them know what a consequence might be, turn to another adult or even another child and quietly talk to that other adult or child about the child who is yelling and/or covering their ears. Tell this other person what the consequence may be for this other child (by name) or what the child's options may be. Do this quietly but close enough that the child could hear if s/he stopped yelling or unstopped their ears. Sometimes when children don't want to hear what you are saying to them, they still want to know what you are saying about them, to someone else.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)