Remember to catch children doing the right thing. Sincerely thank them, praise them and acknowledge them when they do the right thing and or things that you ask them to do.
Sometimes children do things you don’t want theme to do or are slow to do what you ask them to do. Sometimes children need to be corrected. Some people might call this confrontation or what I prefer to call carefrontation. Children, we all, need to know and have feedback when we need to correct course or make a change. Correction is always easier to take and almost always more effective when it comes from someone who we know likes us and appreciates us for positive things we do. When you do need to correct a child, or provide carefrontation, be sure to follow up, as soon as possible with sincere praise or appreciation. I like to call this a sandwich. Both sides of the correction or correction contain sincere praise and appreciation. You can even do this when there is a longer term grounding, i.e. no TV or phone for a period of time. All though the grounding, continue to acknowledge and openly appreciate the positive.
This does not mean that if a child is doing something that urgently needs correction (i.e. about to touch a hot stove) that you have to stick something positive in real quick. You don't, just make sure that they have been hearing the positive all along.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Talking to children or about children, there is a time for both.
Sutterbug Photography made a good point under reinforcement.
Children do pick up on things you don't expect them to. This is one of the many reasons why example is so important.
Most of the time, when you want to communicate something with a child, it is best to speak directly, simply, clearly, and gently directly to the child.
Sometimes though, children get upset and don't want to hear what you have to say. Sometimes they may start yelling or cover their ears. You might try speaking louder or even end up yelling and they just yell louder, blocking you out.
Try this instead some time. When you have a child who is acting in this way and you need to tell them something, such as setting a limit or letting them know what a consequence might be, turn to another adult or even another child and quietly talk to that other adult or child about the child who is yelling and/or covering their ears. Tell this other person what the consequence may be for this other child (by name) or what the child's options may be. Do this quietly but close enough that the child could hear if s/he stopped yelling or unstopped their ears. Sometimes when children don't want to hear what you are saying to them, they still want to know what you are saying about them, to someone else.
Children do pick up on things you don't expect them to. This is one of the many reasons why example is so important.
Most of the time, when you want to communicate something with a child, it is best to speak directly, simply, clearly, and gently directly to the child.
Sometimes though, children get upset and don't want to hear what you have to say. Sometimes they may start yelling or cover their ears. You might try speaking louder or even end up yelling and they just yell louder, blocking you out.
Try this instead some time. When you have a child who is acting in this way and you need to tell them something, such as setting a limit or letting them know what a consequence might be, turn to another adult or even another child and quietly talk to that other adult or child about the child who is yelling and/or covering their ears. Tell this other person what the consequence may be for this other child (by name) or what the child's options may be. Do this quietly but close enough that the child could hear if s/he stopped yelling or unstopped their ears. Sometimes when children don't want to hear what you are saying to them, they still want to know what you are saying about them, to someone else.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Child Behavior Discussion
I was recently asked by a child care provider to set up a new blog just for care providers to discuss behaviors and what to do abou tthem. I have done that at a new blog called: Child Behavior Discussion in a Child Care Setting. Please click on the link if you want to participate.
Please share with others.
Please share with others.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Temperament can be exhibited in a child as young as three weeks and that it is firmly in place by six weeks.
Temperament can be exhibited in a child as young as three weeks and that it is firmly in place by six weeks. Temperament is defined as the combination of mental and emotional traits of a person. It is a natural predisposition toward a unique behavioral style. Remember that we have all kinds of predispositions; however, we still have choice. While many of our initial temperaments come with us from before birth, both environment and choice play an ever increasing part in who we are as we grow older. There are many stories of people who remade themselves. Gandhi is a great example. When I left home for college for the first time, I made some hard decisions to remake myself in many ways. These decisions and the changes I made have had a profound affect on my own life...The last type of temperament is called the Active/Aggressive child.
For the rest of the information, click here.
For the rest of the information, click here.
Next I want to talk a little more about reinforcement.
Next I want to talk a little more about reinforcement. Remember the story about the child in church above. Reinforcement is not the same for every adult and it is not the same for every child.
There are basically two different kinds of reinforcers. It's kind of complicated but basically when you get something you want or when you avoid something you don't want, both are called reinforcers, one positive and the other negative. Either type of reinforcer increases the chance that the person will do again, whatever it was that got them the desired result...Natural reinforcers are those that will be received in almost any setting from almost any person. Natural reinforcers are almost always better than contrived and should be used whenever possible. For example, in many (hopefully it is most) situations, politeness and good manners receive a natural reinforcer.
For additional information click here.
There are basically two different kinds of reinforcers. It's kind of complicated but basically when you get something you want or when you avoid something you don't want, both are called reinforcers, one positive and the other negative. Either type of reinforcer increases the chance that the person will do again, whatever it was that got them the desired result...Natural reinforcers are those that will be received in almost any setting from almost any person. Natural reinforcers are almost always better than contrived and should be used whenever possible. For example, in many (hopefully it is most) situations, politeness and good manners receive a natural reinforcer.
For additional information click here.
Fourth, the child.
Fourth, the child. You will note that all of the videos above are listed under the third section. This is because most of this is about the interaction with the child and the way the child has learned to communicate his or her wants, needs, and feelings...Another great resource is Devereux and the fabulous resources they have available.
For the rest of the information click here.
For the rest of the information click here.
Inappropriate behavior.
Consider also that an inappropriate behavior may be reinforced in another environment, if this is the case; you need to be crystal clear that it will not be reinforced in your environment, while helping the child to learn that there are more appropriate ways to get their needs met...One last point here, never forget the power of example.
For the rest of the information click here.
For the rest of the information click here.
Second, look at setting events.
Second, look at setting events...There are so many things that could be said here that it would take a chapter or two to even touch the surface of this part of our discussion.
For the rest of the information click here.
For the rest of the information click here.
If you are concerned about the behavior of a child you must:
If you are concerned about the behavior of a child you must:
First, look at the
Environment: this includes the physical environment, smell and sound.
Second, consider setting events: this includes schedule, sleep, diet, stressors (including medical)
Third, consider interactions with others: does the behavior get the child something or get the child out of something.
Fourth and last, after looking at all else, even if the child has an obvious disability, even when the answer seems to be apparent…that this child has a problem, only after all of that, and making adjustments that may help, look at the child...For a toddler it makes a lot more sense to remove an object you don’t want him or her to touch than to repeatedly try to teach the toddler not to touch the item...something that may be developmentally very difficult or even impossible to do.
To read the rest of the information click here.
First, look at the
Environment: this includes the physical environment, smell and sound.
Second, consider setting events: this includes schedule, sleep, diet, stressors (including medical)
Third, consider interactions with others: does the behavior get the child something or get the child out of something.
Fourth and last, after looking at all else, even if the child has an obvious disability, even when the answer seems to be apparent…that this child has a problem, only after all of that, and making adjustments that may help, look at the child...For a toddler it makes a lot more sense to remove an object you don’t want him or her to touch than to repeatedly try to teach the toddler not to touch the item...something that may be developmentally very difficult or even impossible to do.
To read the rest of the information click here.
Why does s/he do that.
The following is rather long and I expect that there will be both questions and discussion; however, it is worth including:
“Why does he do that? This is the age-old question. People ask this question when they see a child throw a “fit” in the store. Why does he behave like that? To date, an often-cited explanation of such undesirable behavior involves a hypothesis about the brain’s development in the child “afflicted” with such behavior. The underpinning of the undesirable tantrum behavior is hypothesized to be the result of some abnormality or underdevelopment of some part(s) of the brain. As further evidence of brain involvement, in some cases, such behavior along with other behaviors forms the basis for a mental disorder. Below is an excerpt from a hypothetical lecture in a Child Psychology class...If you are a therapist concerned with behavior, this book is a must read; however there is more to environment than just the behaviors of the adults and as the above authors acknowledge, there is more to behavior than just the environment. We’ll talk about a few important elements.
For the rest of the information click here.
“Why does he do that? This is the age-old question. People ask this question when they see a child throw a “fit” in the store. Why does he behave like that? To date, an often-cited explanation of such undesirable behavior involves a hypothesis about the brain’s development in the child “afflicted” with such behavior. The underpinning of the undesirable tantrum behavior is hypothesized to be the result of some abnormality or underdevelopment of some part(s) of the brain. As further evidence of brain involvement, in some cases, such behavior along with other behaviors forms the basis for a mental disorder. Below is an excerpt from a hypothetical lecture in a Child Psychology class...If you are a therapist concerned with behavior, this book is a must read; however there is more to environment than just the behaviors of the adults and as the above authors acknowledge, there is more to behavior than just the environment. We’ll talk about a few important elements.
For the rest of the information click here.
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